The Apostle Paul says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (Rom 12:18). What happens though when you have gone as “far as it depends on you” to make peace, but the one you are in conflict with refuses? The simple answer I suppose is that you “shake the dust off your feet” and move on. After all, you have done all that depends on you. However, Paul further encourages us, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Rom 12:20-21).
In order to have the kind of peace that our Lord desires for us to experience, we must have proximity to the one(s) we are in conflict. You have to see that your “enemy” is hungry or thirsty to be able to provide them an act of kindness. Such acts of kindness imply that God does not want us to abandon our relationships to one another, but rather desires the good of unity to overcome the evil of division. Obviously, there are times when peace is not possible and you cannot be in the presence of one who does not tolerate your presence. Yet, we are to be looking for those opportune moments when the enemy is in need, and are able and prepared to provide such need. Therefore, we must not hope for our enemy to fall, but look to uplift the enemy when they fall.
The hope we ought to be longing for is an opportunity to create a different experience with the one(s) we are at odds. Instead of a remembered experience of hate and division, we seek to create an experience of love and unity. We want our enemy to see us offering them a hand in care, not a hand in spite. However, herein rests a major problem in our contemporary western culture. Today, we are a mobile society. We are capable of packing up and moving not just across town, but across the state, country, and even continents! How then can we see our enemy is thirsty or hungry when those we are fighting with are literally out of sight? Take for example congregational conflicts. Often when members experience conflict within a congregation, they can simply move away and attend another congregation in town. We do not have to worship with or see the one we are in conflict with and so our trouble seems out of sight and out of mind.
We can avoid loving our enemy all too easily today. However, not everyone in our world can avoid their enemies so easily. Recently, I watched a documentary about the 1994 Rwanda massacre titled, As We Forgive. The film follows the experience of two Rwandan women, Rosaria and Chantale, who come face-to-face with the men who killed their families. What struck me in particular was how the issue of reconciliation was a necessity for these women and their enemies. The Rwandan situation due to cultural, economic, and tribal factors meant that the killers of the families of Rosaria and Chantale would be coming back after their prison terms to live in the same small village. The documentary follows how the process of reconciliation is worked out as victimizers and victims come face-to-face.
As I watched this film, I kept thinking how such a situation would be virtually unheard of in our society and culture. As American’s we would simply move away, whether we were the victimizer or the victim. Yet, as Christians united to one another at the foot of the cross of Christ, can we really do less than what these two Rwanda women were compelled to do by cultural and societal necessity? Should we not as Christians be compelled to reconcile with our enemies, not by physical necessity, but by our choice to pick up our cross and follow Jesus—the Prince of Peace? Chantale and Rosaria were granted about ten years apart from the murders of their families, but in time, the space and time between them collapsed, and they needed to negotiate how they were going to be in each other’s presence now and for the foreseeable future.
My heart aches when I see brothers and sisters in Christ divide and leave each other over doctrinal, personal, and/or petty reasons. We are so quick to move away from each other in space and time. Let us heed the words of Paul, and be inspired by Rosaria and Chantale to not use space and time to remain enemies, but to find peace in the space and time God has granted us to share with one another.
--Terry
Amen.
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